Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I dreamt of my eyeball last nite (a draft)

If you lift
the lid of mine eye
and peer inside
you will witness within, a resigned
eyeball clasping a contact lens
to itself
a plastic crutch
to help it perform a function
which it could no longer
do with accuracy
of purpose

Last nite
as if the eyeball
was trying to pass on a portentous
message,
it appeared in my dream
as a liquified creature
reduced to a pool of grey and white
mess
and lifting
the lid of mine eye
i witness within
the wretched eyeball
enclosed by a socket of fish-gills, rotten
purple

Perhaps my eyeball
has reduced itself
to threats
in growing awareness of its
mortality

4 Comments:

Blogger dsnake1 said...

Eeeewww!!

actually a nice experimental piece.
maybe you need to redefine the line breaks. Read it aloud and you will see what i mean.

Like the idea of comparing the eyeball to fish gills. red with slimy itcky stuff.

Eeewww!!

9:16 PM  
Blogger Medusa aka expiringpoet said...

Tks dsnake... yeah, i realize my line-breaks suck. Still trying to get that rite i'm afraid. Been reading aloud but still clueless- obviously I need to attend more of DeadPoet's 'class' in DPS..heheh!!!
Btw, i've been under painkillers, hence the bizarre dreams about the eyeballs ;P

2:34 AM  
Blogger Cold Cut Ten said...

You might want to try to listen to poems being read. (Here's a good site to get poems to listen to: http://www.poetryarchive.org/poetryarchive/home.do) And then get into habit of reading poems out loud. :)

This poem has the potential to be quite surreal, or if you want to go all out -- nightmarish. :) good luck!

8:10 PM  
Blogger Medusa aka expiringpoet said...

Hey Liz, i went to the site and unfortunately for me, the audio is in realplayer format, which I believe my Mac system does not support :( That aside, must thank you for the tip, site definitely looks useful for noobies.

10:00 PM  

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