A focus group session on "A Sense of Belonging"

Tonite i had an interesting experience being part of a focus group discussion on "A Sense of Belonging to Singapore".
Among some of the issues put on the table:

Am I proud to be Singaporean?
What makes you feel a sense of belonging?
What changes do you hope to see that would make you feel more attached to the country?
Are you confident Singapore will have a bright future?
Are you confident that your personal aspirations can be fulfilled?

Now, I'm quite shy by nature and not prone to airing my views to a large group, it makes me uncomfortable. Particularly as I'm generally not, how shall i say it... unfrank about my views and opinions. I tend to say things as it is. I dont censor my thoughts to make it palatable to others. And i know this is not good but somehow each time i tone down my opinions, I feel a certain distaste, that i'm somehow compromising myself.

But i wanted to attend anyway, cos firstly, I've not participated in one before, and I do think its nice to do new things everyday. It makes life fun and less predictable that way.
Secondly, these are issues I feel strongly for and as much as I'm shy about speaking out, I also feel that to be silent when one has a voice and the opportunity to speak out is so criminal. i believe its abusing the gift that God gives you to have a mouth and not use it.

Anyway, i did have a good time airing everything out. Focus group discussions are good for getting things off your chest and listening to what interesting evaluations and opinions others around you have.
Being part of a segment group of under 35s and malay makes the discussion even more personal and relevant to me. Somethings I know i wouldnt be able to discuss with my non-Malay/Muslim friends because our world-views, even though we live in the same island, can be extremely diverse because of our differing experiences with the reality around us.
Its similar to the story of the chinese lady who married an indian man, and prior to marrying him, thought that Singapore and Singaporeans are a racially forgiving lot. But her eyes were opened to the host of prejudices and the racial slurs experienced after they were married.

Issues such as middle-east terrorism, racial politcs in singapore, the sidelining of other languages to Mandarin, the not-so-subtle trend of discrimination against malays in the job industry that's steadily increasing this last few years, SAF conscription policies that discriminates against malays, democracy and free speech. These taboo and sensitive issues were discussed in a frank and candid style and I believe everyone gained a little bit more insight from it. Its definitly interesting for me, maybe cos i have extremely few malay friends- to hear what other malays like me feel about the socio-economic and political landscape surrounding us as malays. I think one of the participants said it very well when she says there is a certain dilemma about not knowing which to choose, being a malay first or being singaporean. Because only if you're a malay in singapore, that you feel an acute sense of your identity and how you unconsciously try to suppress it, because of the negative media surrounding the malays as an educationally lagging race, as the problematic high-drug use race, as the race with high incidences of divorces.

I'm reminded now as i write, of Alfian Sa'at's recounting an incident where he was to have heard a malay teenager confessing, "I know how I feel towards my country, but I dont know what my country feels about me".
Yup, that sums it pretty much.