Untitled - a draft
Falling
and rising as waves under silent skies, we
open, expand and unfold, thudding hearts
suspended in protracted
semi-flight
as we clasp and unclasp
with the evening breeze
brushing
upon uncaring
dry leaves.
and rising as waves under silent skies, we
open, expand and unfold, thudding hearts
suspended in protracted
semi-flight
as we clasp and unclasp
with the evening breeze
brushing
upon uncaring
dry leaves.
posted by Medusa aka expiringpoet at 3:41 AM
5 Comments:
I like the flow of the words, like an undulating wave of a melody.
though i wasn't quite sure what theme u are writing about! :)
somehow i prefer "mute skies" as u posted in DPS, like someone wants to talk but is unable to.
I was attempting (yeah, thats the right word...) a non-explicit, sexual poem. Seems quite alot of people can't guess what I'm going on about so i really need to flesh this out further and add in more graphics and sounds maybe! Eeeeeeewwwwww!!!!!
I got what it is about, and I like the subtle way you've approached it. Like dsnake, I prefer mute skies to silent skies. :)
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thanks Liz dear. But after looking at it again, I find its such a third rate attempt at a poem and should have never have been allowed to see the light of day!
Am gonna mentally thrash this. Ugh!
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