Bah Humbug

It must be the over-surplus from the excitement of yesterday's titillating dance concert or my body's reaction to being stuck for 10 hours in the freezing temperature of the University's Cultural Centre backstage. Whatever it was, I am sick today; my face feels swollen from this never-ending sneezing bout and head feel heavy and stuffed. I ended up not going for the poetry reading at Books Actually (hope Deadpoet and dsnake forgive me for not appearing) and also the Speakeasy event at SAM, 2 events I had been looking forward to going.

The finale of last night's performance by the bellydancing star, Rhanda Kamel was pretty fitting. She was a sight to behold. Its true what they say about Middle Eastern women. They truly have gorgeous figures, full-bodied and lush, its marvellous to watch her body sashay, skip and gyrate to the beat of the live drums. Both the audience and us at the wings were pretty transfixed by her "melons". And Meng commented in a loud whisper that her butt looks like it had a life of its own as it shook feverishly from right to left at speeds that would leave a race-car driver envious!

The husband rented a few DVDs so we can watch it at home:

1. Clean - a winner of Cannes film award, starring Maggie Cheung and Nick Nolte.
2. The Motorcyle Diaries - a film about a road trip which affected the lives of the 2 travellers, one of them who later became known as Che Guevara
3. The Omen - horror cult film, this one is the 25th anniversary edition. Being a scaredy-cat, I hope I can watch this one to its ending.
4. Signs - by M. Night Shyamalan. I like how Shyamalan directs his films, unfolding mysteries slowly and revealing secrets in little bits, like a good storyteller would. So I'm sure I'm gonna enjoy this one.
5. Lemony Snickett's A Series of Unfortunate Events - I loved this one, and rented it again in the hope of watching it with the wee nephews today. It was unfortunate that as events go, I didnt get the chance to today when i met them.

I hope this cold goes away soon. A sick Fazi is a super-dull Fazi.

Goodbye 33...

It is better to know, than to wonder.
It is better to wake, than to sleep.
It is better to make the worst decision...... than none at all......
We have to sweep today's possibilities under tomorrow's rug, until we can't anymore, until we finally understand
(Grey's Anatomy)

Yesterday was my birthday; happy birthday indeed, to ME! And sad farewell to sweet 33, for being an extraordinary year.

To the best mann a mädchen could have,
Thank you my dearest; you really made my day. But you know, the best gift of all was our talk at the close of the night at our usual cheap coffeeshop. That was something special. Ich liebe Dich!

To Jess and Mel,
Thanks for spending it with us. As usual, you guys/clowns just crack us up; having friends to share dinner with me on my special day was the icing on the cake! In future, no more buffets with you two at 'J Toshi'.
I'm still nursing a bad headache from an overdose of sashimi/oysters/ chicken yakitori/tempura moriawase/karaage/softshell crab/croquette/grilled cod/ etc...etc...
That beef was a dream though, wasn't it? Absolutely tender...moist....melt-in-the-mouth-juicy...we should have ordered one more plate?!?

To Sukri,
I love the chain. Not possible that I could have gotten a more perfect pressie :)

To Mum, Sis Aza, Lily, Gail, Suze, Ed, Cousin Farhan, Pai....if u guys are reading this, thank you for the kind wishes.

Aufwiedersehen,

Fudge


A bowl of agadeshi tofu for you?


Clockwise: Mel the-oyster conqueror, Happy Jes, sad remains of sashimi platter, sad remains of tempura platter...


Niz conducts a thorough exam of the soft-shelled crab while we say, "oh just eat it, niz!"

A lesson in diplomacy

I might have killed my chance of getting my dream job by unintentionally giving the wrong vibe today to someone who has the right contacts and is in the position to help me clinch it.
My mouth, honesty/straight-talk/tactlessness - works against me yet again. I basically said no to a project-basis job for her own company which she offered me. I had my reasons for rejecting it but I'm not sure if she took it the wrong way.
So I came back home feeling bad and sorry for myself and in no small amount majorly pissed off with the husband for giving me the "what did you say that for?" lecture. In my heart, I knew I should have left the door open instead of idiotically dismissing it outright and it hurt my pride doubly that I had to hear my stupidity dissected again to me from the husband who made no effort to spare my feelings and didn't mince his words.

Anyway. I have resolved to use whatever resources and will-power I have to go and get the jobs on my own. I've always been a firm believer in not pulling strings anyway. Ahh...is this me attempting to comfort myself? Job-hunting is depressing and drains every precious ounce of my happiness :(

________________
I'm volunteering at the National Museum in September, for the Cine Singapore events. Its a series of movie screenings directed and produced by homegrown talents. Hopefully the free movie screenings I'll get in return will cheer me up in the coming days.

Some events to look forward to

Speakeasy
By Beats Society

Speakeasy is the only gathering in Singapore to merge Hiphop, Indie Rock, Electronic music and Visual Art together amidst a poetry recital setting. Partly awareness, partly carefree, Speakeasy brings together the headliners and the budding talents in these different genres to celebrate the very cause of music's endless possibilities. Open mic sessions have never been this colourful.

Saturdays: 29 Jul, 26 Aug, 30 Sep, 25 Nov & 30 Dec, 6.00pm, SAM Glass Hall.


_____________________________
Curatours
Curious to learn more about the lives of artists and the creative process that lies behind their art-making? Get the stories behind the pictures with our thematic curator-guided tours! Learn more about the works on display and the artists in our current exhibitions as SAM curators share with you anecdotes and insights.
7.00pm, Fridays. Meeting point: SAM Lobby.

____________________________

Launch of Cyril Wong's book - Like a Seed with its Singular Purpose
Sat, 29 July. Books Actually (125A telok ayer street) . 3PM

The Great Job Challenge

I left the corporate world slightly more than a year ago, just a few days after I received my promotion letter to be Asst Manager for my Internet Services team in a telecommunications company.

Chasing my long-time dream of opening my own Vietnamese eatery, I did exactly that. Leaving my job was an epiphany - it made me realize life's too short and dreams dont last forever. My business lasted for less than a year. It was hard and sad, closing down, but there's no other choice in the face of overwhelming competition and rising costs of doing business, especially where rentals are concerned.

Back to the now, I've been jobless for 5 months. The husband encouraged me to take a break from working, but I'm just not the sitting about the house type I guess cos its making me darn restless and not to mention fat. Its just my luck, i suppose that the jobs I want (working in the Arts Scene) are in dire supply. And I was supposed to work part-time as backstage hand at a belly-dance event happening 2 weeks from now, but then I forgot to follow-up with the organiser on my details. Gah! Getting old.
I told Ed last week that I was looking for jobs, and he told me that his friend is looking to employ a "Space-filler". Apparently, her company is expecting some investors from the Middle East and the office is empty. So she needs to employ someone to sit in the office and "look busy". Well, i'm keen to do it, sounds like the easiest job in the world. Except it might not be worth it if its only for a day is it?

We'll see how it goes, in the meantime, if I take the job, that's one position that not gonna be printed on my resume for sure.

Books I'm reading

Last Saturday I was at my favourite hangout: National Library. Bagged 3 books in 5 minutes of browsing:

The Damnation Game - Clive Barker
The Path to the Spider's Nest - Italo Calvino
Q - Luther Blissett

I started by reading the Clive Barker first, because I hadn't read a horror genre for awhile and was in the mood for some tittilating gore and shock. Devoured it in one day. It started off interesting enough, but the suspense kinda became predictable by the end of Chapter 2 and from there on, I was trying hard not to fall asleep; let's just say the story sounded similar to some other's I'd already read before, so there were no suprises.

"...as a child I thought somebody came and took the world away in the night and then came back and unrolled it all again the following morning" (The Damnation Game)
-------------

The Path to the Spider's Nest - is an early novel by Calvino, written when he was 24, and influenced by his experiences in the war. The story is told through the eyes of the main character, Pin, a street urchin, who against his will is hanging on to his innocence and naivety. I'm halfway through this, absorbing and so far so good...
-------------

Q - is described as a thriller and novel of ideas, a cult european best-seller. It tells of 16th century turbulent Europe and promises to be "gripping". But we'll see.

Ray and Eve says hello to Sydney, again!

My ex-collegues and buddies Ray and Eve are heading back to Sydney for good now, and it'll be September (hopefully) when we'll see them again. So last Friday we had a BBQ to feed them properly, before they leave. Of cos, its also a good excuse to feed ourselves too, as you'll see in the photos here. After the BBQ, we went to Newton Circus to have more food...arrghhh...the gluttony of these people, its embarassing!!!
Anyway, 2 friends gone now and 2 years back we said goodbye to Yen who went back to Melbourne, and I know Mengster and Romain have plans to work in China next year. Its really sad that I'm losing most of my friends. The husband's good friend is working in the States. It seems more of our friends are going overseas than coming home to stay. Its a reality that we're getting increasingly familiar with. I keep asking the husband if we should seriously considering migrating too. Afterall, Singapore is moving in a direction which I'm not too happy with, the economic divide here and the rate of progress is too rapid. The government's clamp-down on freedom of speech for Singaporeans is also another factor which has cheesed me off staying here, for a long time already. Also, I worry that we will also have bigger problems coping in a country that is getting more Chinese-centric and competitive, that there will soon be a problem for minorities like us to find jobs without facing over-discrimination for not speaking the language, or simply for being the wrong colour. For now, I know the husband's not ready for a complete change for us, but I hope someday soon.



The yummy-looking wings are courtesy of Eve and Ray, beefball-satay courtesy of me, corn by Richard...


Chilling...(Left -Right) : Eve, Bel, Me, Freddy, Jubes, Ray, Meng, Richard, Romain, Vanessa. (Nizz is missing cos he's photographer)


More food: Hotdogs, portobello mushrooms, chicken kebabs, sweet potatoes, veg and mushroom salad.......

Honest, Love-them-to-bits People

Physically, I hate myself. Mentally, I'm gorgeous! - Jay McCarroll

I love Jay and his witties!
Lets be honest. How many people would say something like that about themselves on TV?
His candour is totally refreshing. So he's inspired me to be honest about myself too now.
Ok, let's start :

a. My chest-
I've given up on it blossoming now that I'm way past the development stage. I wish I can have a formidable looking chest. Big enough so that I can use them as food-trays if I'd like to. But there it is, reality decides that I have to live with my not-so impressive pair. I guess I should be thankful though. At least I can run with mine without getting hurt or possibly injuring others while running at full speed.

b. My fats-
Between my fats and me, we battle daily. Some days i really pity their unwanted existence, other days I am quite merciless! Die you stupid fats! Dieeee!!!!!! MwaHAHA!

c. My hair-
is the bane of my life. It cant decide if it wants to be curly or straight. So most days its just cur-st here and there. I wish it would grow up and make up its mind.

d. I look like a nerd when i wear my specs. I'm myopic. I envy women who can look sexy even when they're wearing their glasses, like Eva Mendes. But sadly i think when i wear glasses, I just look like a mad scientist in drag. Especially with my tendency to peer when I cant see very well. Peering is very unglamourous. So is banging against walls and glass doors, which i sometimes do too. Banging against too-obvious, big objects like walls are really destructive for self-confidence I can tell you that.

How am i doing so far? Stopping now before i totally horrify myself.

Over!


Above: photo of mad scientist in drag - taken by Suze

Humourless People

The husband and I went to to our usual coffeeshop this evening to grab some hot tea. We sat at the spot near the big-screen TV showing an Indonesian ghost story involving a very unghostlike figure in drab funeral wraps.
I'm sure its a real low budget production. The make-up was unconvincing, I mean, seriously! Its a ghost story, at least get the make-up right? And if this wasn't bad enough, this ghost then tried to get back his false teeth from a dentist who had unwittingly received the teeth from this other guy who's character's too boring to even mention.
In one "climactic" (supposedly) scene, the ghost suddenly appeared in the dentist's office and said,
"Give me back my false teeeeeeeeeeeeeth....doctorrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!".
And that was it. I started to hoot with laughter. And then i realised everyone else around us weren't laughing.
Come on! Its a joke of a ghost story, people!?

Stupid people

Last night, I was jogging at the track flanking the big monsoon drain alongside my house and i saw in the distance, a black kitten lying motionless by the drain. A middle-aged woman (on her handphone) came along and I saw her slowing down and prodding the kitten with the snub of her toe. It didn't move. While I was wondering what in the world she was doing, she pushed the kitten with her foot and the thing went rolling effortlessly into the drain. I suppose it was dead. But why the hell did she do that for? What if the kitten wasn't dead but merely fainted??? Do cats faint? I dont know, but I was damn annoyed that she couldn't have just let it be, at least give it a proper check before she condemn the poor small thing to the drain? I went to check but the drain was so dark that I couldnt see a thing.

I'm still annoyed. And while she was doing that, she was on the phone, talking! I should have just interrupted her and asked if she had confirmed the kitten was dead. I hate stupid people!

Apologies

Dearest, when next you are moved to utter:
Sorry,
Don’t.
Because
A heartfelt apology implies
The offense wont be repeated
Do they not?

Much better to opt for the honesty
Of silence.
Should we move on,
Things will be better, I think,
We’ll let time and scar-tissue sew over
The hurt